Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A group that has been left behind by today's church.

So this is the point where you are wondering if I am going to write about the poor orphans or the teenagers who are at risk or the singles ministry.

I probably should write about all those groups. I should, but I want to talk about something that is increasingly on my heart in women's ministry today. It seems like women's ministry in churches primarily focuses on the stay at home mom or the widow.

There. I said it.

When I was a stay at home mom, I felt like there were so many opportunities to grow in my faith and get to know other moms. Time was abundant, activities were abundant, and I felt connected to my church family.

Then when my husband and I made the decision that it was best for our family that I work full time, I started looking into activities with other moms. I'm sorry to say there were not many choices at all. Thankfully, I go to a church that does offer opportunities through a weekend MOPS group, but other than that? I feel like there is a huge demographic of Christian women who are being left out simply because we work.

I don't know exactly how to fix this "problem" because I understand the working woman's time is sparse. I mean, any extra time I have usually goes to my family. That is the way it should be, but why are there no other connecting activities with other moms on the weekends? Again, thankfully, I belong to a MOPS group that meets on Sundays, has Mom's nights out monthly on a weeknight, and also offers a moms/kids day out for the stay at home mom crowd.

I'm not sure why this has become a "pet peeve" of mine. I'm not sure that I'm an advocate or what. I don't know. But the Lord has just laid this on my heart since seeing the needs change as our family dynamic has changed. I don't read that many working moms' blogs. There aren't many even out there. I feel like the subject has become a bit taboo to speak of in Christian circles. And let's not even talk about some of the rude comments I have gotten from other Christian women who tell me I am completely in the wrong because I am working.

It's a hard spot to be in, and the guilt can be overwhelming. As Christian sisters, I feel like others should be building me up instead of tearing me down. Yet, here I sit. Feeling isolated because of a choice my husband and I made to do what we feel is best financially for our family. And ironically, many members of the church have isolated this entire group of women without meaning to.

You may totally disagree with me. That's fine. It is your right to disagree with our decision for our family. Your convictions may be different than mine. I assure you, I'd love to be in your shoes, but each situation is different. Unless you know all the specifics of my situation (which will not be shared on a blog anyway), you can't know everything there is to know about my decision to work.

At any rate, I want to say that I wish the Christian women would take down this fence. This very clear divide. "You're a stay at home mom. I'm a working mom."

Can't we all just be moms?

Can't we reach out to everyone?

Anyway, that's what is on my heart this past week. So I thought I'd share. Feel free to let me know what you think---which may be stupid of me to say b/c I might get offended. But oh, well.


  1. OK, I have to comment. When you say, "It seems like women's ministry in churches primarily focuses on the stay at home mom or the widow", I have to say I disagree about the widow part. I've been a widow now for 14 years and oh how I hate that word. And I've only been aware of one activity at my church a year that is for the "widows" and it's a Christmas dinner that is also a Deacons Christmas dinner. They invite all the widows. Whoopie. I went once, well, maybe twice, and felt like I was sitting there with a big fat red A on my shirt. All the deacons were there with their wives, and all the widows just stuck out like a sore ****. Can't you tell I love this subject? I have not been aware of anything else for the "widows" at my church or any other church. So.....this is what's on my heart. And yes, I think we should reach out to everyone. You are correct. But I'm going to quit whining and go to bed. Alone.

  2. I feel your pain, Mrs. C. Having worked outside of the home until my youngest was about 3, I know exactly what you are talking about. And then, when I was not working at the 8-5 job, I was teaching & have never been able to participate in things that are planned at church. Always a conflict. I hope I did not offend you, in my above vent. That paragraph up there is a perfect example of me VENTING! I hope you understand. Maybe I should start my own blog. Well, actually, I have one, just never post on it, and no, I will not give out the www for it. haha.