Friday, November 16, 2012

Just got to walk through it.

There's not much to tell right now, and I don't want to blog too much since obviously...running my mouth got me in a lot of trouble on Wednesday. Suffice to say, we are just waiting on God's timing now. The house relocation company (who we are also negotiating with) is being difficult about some things that they said yes to originally. Now they are saying no or "make the buyers do it" which we are not going to do. We are not desperate. I do like this particular house, but I don't want it if it's out of God's will. Plain and simple. That is hard to say sometimes with my emotions considering this has been going on for a week now. However, I'm just standing firm and praying for God's will.

In other news, I'm writing more because I feel the need to just vent a second. I can never go into details because this is a huge public space, but I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the pain around me in this world. And there is nothing I can do for anyone about it. I can't stop all the cancer that is wrecking my friends' lives. I can't say enough words. When I'm at work completely frustrated by the changes in American education...there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of it. I can't change what is happening to me there. I can't make it better. I can't say any words. I just have to walk through it. Day by day. I get so frustrated this time of year because my husband and I never see each other. Plain and simple. His schedule is awful, mine is hectic, and we are literally passing the baby as he words six days a week and endless hours. I can't make it better. I can't say any words. I just have to walk through it.

This isn't meant to be long or deep or overly spiritual, but my thoughts keep going back to Psalm 23. I wouldn't even say that I'm in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. I'm not anywhere near that. I'm just frustrated. But even in the Bible, God says you just have to walk through it. He's with you, but you have to walk through it. I'm trying to remember that this morning in the midst of my 5 am wake up calls and days that end at 10 pm. They are hard, rough, long days, but we have our health. We are really so blessed, and no matter how frustrated I get by looking in on my friends' lives, work, schedules, jobs, etc...I just have to walk through it. I just have to walk through it. He's there to guide me, but I just have to walk through it. He's holding my hand as I pray, and I just have to walk through it. Still praying that kind of peace over my friends' daughter Ava & their new journey with cancer.

Lord, just help us all walk through it somehow.

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