Thursday, February 23, 2012

Last night. Spiritual struggles with self-pity.

Last night, I started to write a post about how rough a day it had been.

Last night, I started to complain about my husband being gone or asleep at such weird hours of the day.

Last night as I loaded the groceries into my car, pushed the cart back to the cart stand (what is that called anyway? cart catcher? cart keeper?), toted my child across the parking lot, and buckled the baby in the seat I was tempted to complain rather loudly on the blog. Man, this will make a great blog post! I can complain about grocery shopping alone when I used to do it with my husband. Poor me!!

Last night, I almost wrote about how I'm so tired I made an executive decision that Little Caesar's pizza was on the menu (for the adults) for dinner. I almost even admitted to you how much we are eating LC lately since this job change.

Last night, I collapsed in a heap onto the couch at nine pm because that was the first second I had all day between washing clothes, loading/unloading a dishwasher, cleaning out the fridge, wiping the shelves in the fridge, folding and hanging two loads of laundry, grocery shopping, feeding and bathing Micah, grading papers, writing lesson plans, making newsletters, responding to parent emails, and various other time zappers of my day.

Last night, I skipped my quiet time.

Last night, I skipped writing a complaining blog post because I was too exhausted to complain.

This morning I read my Jesus Calling book by Sarah Young. You must get this book if you don't have it! I'm telling you, it is changing my attitude, my heart, and my quiet time. Plus it isn't too long for me to read in the morning. (Every night I do the lessons to Mirror Mirror on the Wall study written by Jean Stockdale and watch the PodCasts online. I used to go to this group in Memphis while I was staying home with Micah.) Please go buy it for yourself. (No one paid me for that plug, and my blog isn't even big enough for sponsors to want to find me anyway. Haha!)

Here's what my Jesus Calling book said for February 23. To say I was blown away this morning was an understatement!

"Be on guard against the pit of self-pity. When you are weary or unwell, this demonic trap is the greatest danger you face. Don't even go near the edge of the pit. Its edges crumble easily, and before you know it, you are on the way down. It is ever so much harder to get out of the pit than to keep a safe distance from it. That is why I tell you to be on guard.

There are several ways to protect yourself from self-pity. When you are occupied with praising and thanking Me, it is impossible to feel sorry for yourself. Also, the closer you live to Me, the more distance there is between you and the pit. Live in the Light of My Presence by fixing your eyes on Me. Then you will be able to run with endurance the race that is set before you, without stumbling or falling."

Psalm 89:15-16; Hebrews 12:1-2 (NASB)

--written by Sarah Young

Today, I am thankful that I am allowed to live another day even though yesterday was a rough day.

Today, I am so excited about my husband's new job even though I don't like the hours. We prayed for this job for so long! The Lord has blessed us! Who am I to complain about the hours not being just right?

Today, I am thankful for the money to be able to afford those groceries, the ability to walk with my own cart without assistance or medical aid, for the car that I can drive to get me to and from the grocery store.

Today, I am thankful there is a Little Caesar's five seconds from my house so that I can run to get us a quick meal.

Today, I still may collapse in a heap onto the couch at nine pm, but at least I have a house in this economy.

Today, I will not skip my quiet time because obviously the Lord is ready to speak to me just where I am if I will take the time to listen.

Today, I am thankful that I skipped my complaining blog post because it would have reflected poorly on my faith when I should be a testimony to God's grace & goodness instead.

What a difference a day makes. Make sure to look for the blessings around you in your life today, and don't get stuck in the trap of self pity that mothering--an almost thankless job--can pull you into at times.

Obviously, I'm preaching more to myself than I am to you.

Happy Thursday!!!

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